Over 365 days of ticking the married box

We’ve been away on holiday and so between getting stressed out about (oops sorry, preparing) for our first trip as a family I’ve not blogged for a while – definitely my longest blogging break.

We were away celebrating our wedding anniversary and the day was wonderful with tonnes of nice surprises.

The holiday itself was lovely and I had nothing to be anxious about in terms of how Gem would cope on the plane, packing enough nappies etc etc.

It was also an opportunity for me to reflect on how things have been over the last year.

The list below was born.

Ten things I wish someone told me before I became a wife and mother:

1) A new normal – A new baby won’t just fit snugly into your old life like a pair of new Louboutins.

There is a new ‘normal’ from the day they arrive. The earlier you know and accept this, the ‘easier’ life would be.

2) Mind-reading lover – obviously we all want one of these – finishes our sentences etc etc.

The reality however is that your partner will never be able to read your mind. Therefore you need to clearly articulate how you feel and not expect him/her to “just know”.

3) Loneliness – Being a new mum can be a lonely place.

4) The reality – Despite what the bridal magazines say – there’s life after the wedding day. In addition, despite the amazement and splendour of the wedding day itself, the life after is your day to day reality and needs focus and attention.

5) Don’t worry be happy – Live in the moment and enjoy your single life even more than you think is possible. Don’t waste time anxiously pining for a change in marital status from “single” to “married” – live in the now.

6) Unselfish – Being a wife and a mum require selflessness beyond one’s imagination.

7) Talking helps – Talk, talk, talk and then talk some more to your partner – bottling things up makes them a million times worse.

8) Dating whilst married – Date nights, cinema trips, holding hands etc with your partner whilst being married is fundamental.

9) Make love not war – With a new baby, this won’t be high on the priority list. With the hormones and the sleep deprivation, pulling teeth might seem like more fun than a bit of how’s your father.

In addition to 7 and 8 above, this point is crucial however to staying connected to your partner. Hopefully, if you’re lucky and get loads of opportunity to engage in number 8 above, number 9 should be a byproduct obviously.

10) Fight fairly – when you’re not swinging from the chandelier engaging in number 9 above, if you’re in disagreement about something, try to ensure (if possible) that you speak to your partner in a way that honours and respects him or her even through the argument. Not an easy task and one I try to work on daily.

I’m not sure I would have listened if someone told me all this say ten years ago. However, as you’re reading my blog, you’re obviously a smart, wise and knowledgeable person so you’ll definitely do what I say.

With over 365 days as an experienced married person, I obviously know what I’m doing, right??

LMAO!

xxx

This is a blog hop.

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11 thoughts on “Over 365 days of ticking the married box

  1. I’ve been married for nearly nine years, and I still need reminding of some of these… I also work on number 10 on a daily basis – I wonder if it’s having children that does it, you start speaking to your partner as if they’re another of your kids…! Great post 🙂 #PoCoLo

    • I’m finding that it’s a constant learning process so I’m sure I’ll be able to have new things to add to the list by the time we’ve been married for as long as you have.

      Thanks a lot for your comment.

  2. Considering you’ve only been married for a year I think you’ve got it all sussed, I’ve been married for a gazillion years (I was a child bride 😉 ) and I completely agree with your list and I know because I’m reading your blog so that means I’m knowledgeable, wise and intelligent… right 😉

  3. This is a great – and very true – list! Welcome back to the land of the bloggers! I hope you and your hubby had a fantastic anniversary and holiday. Thank you for linking your post up for some PoCoLo lovely xx

  4. Woo hoo amummymuses is back, seems like you were gone for 365 days!

    Thanks for this posting, I was totally unaware of how lonely new Mothers were, but I guess it is hard to imagine until one experiences it.

    Lastly thanks for no 2, 5, 7, in your post, very useful advice for some of us single folks trying to develop a partnership, and a particularly good advice coming from a married person even if it is a year – it is a practical experience some are not privy to.

    I hope you had a nice time away with your family, good to have you back and looking forward to more of your postings. Xoxo

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  6. This is such a great idea, I think we should all make a list like this just to remind ourselves of where we are now at this time of our lives. Things change when you get married and have kids – fact. I love how you place great importance on communication – key to a healthy and happy relationship. I think we could all do with a little more openness and communication with our other halves (as well as a date night!), it’s so easy to get stuck in a routine x

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