Mummyland – The playground mentality

Am I the only one that thinks that the mummy scene is a bit like being back in school – gossips, self-appointed leaders, dumb ass followers, the works!

I saw a couple of the antenatal (NCT) girls today and it was just plain dull and felt like being thirteen again.

Let me give you a brief snapshot of the girls involved:

– There’s the girl who has taken it upon herself to ‘organise’ social gatherings like these dumb ass Tuesday coffee sessions. She is the self-appointed leader of the pack who once moaned about the fact that a nursery she knew of served the kids Cheerios. She sounded so appalled by this, you would have thought the kids were being injected with crystal meth.
– The one who just churns out random baby trivia that I’m not sure even she cares about. She follows / licks the behind of the girl described in the first bullet point above.
– The one who quite frankly isn’t a bad girl but just talks at you and never really bothers to ask anyone about themselves. She’s got a good heart though.
– The one girl who I think I get on with and is on the same page as me
– Finally, there’s the girl who couldn’t be assed with all these forced social niceties right from day one and who no longer bothers to show up or respond to any emails from the group. In this respect, she’s my hero.

I used to think it was me – maybe I could try harder, maybe with time it will get better once we get to know each other etc etc. However, I can confidently say that it’s probably worse than it used to be and that’s saying something because it was always pretty dull seeing most of these girls.

It’s the “Oh will we see you next Tuesday?” comment that got to me today. It’s the kind of comment that suggests heavily that one is being talked about. You know – in that girly school playground kind of way.

I went last to this Tuesday gig at the end of November and have been too busy with life to bother. So, I felt like responding to the question by saying “No – you will not see me on Tuesday. I’m done with your conformist bullshit Tuesday sessions, which quite frankly clash with my daughter’s nap time and are extremely boring. All of you traipse down to meet up on Tuesday to talk about your babies non-stop, never stopping to actually listen to each other and it’s just plain boring and irrelevant and I’d rather floss my cat. Never mind that I don’t actually have a cat – I’m sure I can find a cat that will need flossing every Tuesday. Leave it to me!!”

In Mummyland Besties, I wrote about this and back then I hadn’t started meeting girls I actually connected with so I thought it was me.

Having hung out with some mums where a friendship is actually forming, I realise it’s not me. I’ve met girls that I would gladly hang out with each week and who actually make the mummy scene fun and more than just bearable.

Why do I have to bother with these losers?

I don’t cope well in these playground-type scenarios. I loathed them at 13 and possibly despise them more now that I’m more or less in my mid-thirties.

In conclusion, as I finished writing this post, I googled “playground bitches” and found this NY mag article that describes this mummy playground mentality perfectly The Bitch on the playground.



4 thoughts on “Mummyland – The playground mentality

  1. Pingback: My current self-soothing technique « amummymuses

  2. This made me laugh out loud and be really happy too, I thought it was just me!! My sister in law is one of these mums and I was thinking I must be socially retarded to not be able to force myself to have interest in what called the ‘nct’ mums, only so much I can face the justification that I did not exclusively or a long time breast feed both my two and god help me will not be breast feeding my third, my choice!! No?! Also even when there are issues and any mum has them rather than nattering over coffee sort them and get in with much more productive things. Keep writing as these topics help the intelligent loving mum going x

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  4. Pingback: To pierce or not to pierce – that is the question | amummymuses

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