This is a letter I wrote a while back as my daughter is now a bit older.
My darling gem of a daughter,
This is a letter to you now you’re 3 months old – part of a series of letters I’ll write you every three months.
You are an adorable child and your Dad and I are lucky to have you.
It’s been a wild period learning about you. I can honestly say now that I didn’t know what to expect. I underestimated how much your crying would break me. I also underestimated how afraid I’d be.
The first few weeks were thoroughly life-changing and chaotic – you’ll come to realise how much your Mummy hates not being in control soon. When you first arrived, it was evident that I didn’t have an atom of control at all over your crying, how slow the breast-feeding process would take and how you’d adjust to the world. In summary, I was an emotional wreck and I cried a lot up until you were about 6 weeks old.
Your Daddy did a lot better than I did and he always seemed at ease with you.
The Olympics and Paralympics gave me a distraction from the whirlwind of my emotions and it was truly a wonderful Summer to be able to catch quite a lot of the events on telly as I fed or cuddled you or while you were asleep. I still felt quite blue though.
Slowly, I started to adjust to life with you and doing things like the baby massage class, baby-mummy cinema trips, book club stuff etc made me myself again. Even being able to drive at 4 weeks (controversial after a c-section) made me feel tonnes better.
As I got settled so did you. Not sure what came first but we found (and continue to find) our equilibrium together.
In the early days, I thought you were either feeding, crying or sleeping and there was nothing else in between. I also thought we’d have to always feed or cuddle you to sleep.
Well that has all changed considerably as you’ve truly become what I believe people call an ‘easy’ baby. You sleep straight through from say 8pm to 7.30am or so and have been doing this since you were 7.5 to 8 weeks old.
Since you were about 10 weeks old, you’ve been giving us amazing smiles that melt our hearts. I know you were smiling in your sleep before then anyway – seeing angels in your sleep as your Grandma puts it. You are a happy child and that’s pretty obvious for all to see.
You found your thumb when you were about 8 to 10 weeks and now suck it quite profusely as your self-soothing technique. You effectively sleep-trained yourself with this as putting yourself back to sleep is not an issue for you. We take no credit for you being a ‘sleeper’ as you effectively learnt how to sleep by yourself with very little help from us.
So far, this is what I think of your personality and only time will tell if your Mummy is right or not:
– you are a happy girl
– you are independent, finding your own way to comfort yourself
– music calms you down
– you are super observant in new surroundings
– you cope well with routine
Highlights of the first three months:
– your smile
– your laughter
– dressing you up in fab outfits
– you being in your room from 5.5 weeks
– seeing Anna Karenina with you (I no longer hate Keira K as much as I used to as she seemed like a perfect Oscar-winning actress through my sleep-deprived eyes)
– going on the tube with you for the first time on 13 Oct (totally better than I had imagined the experience in my head)
– doing classes with you like baby massage
– you sleeping through from 7.5 to 8 weeks
I’ll write you again in three months time my little angel. For now, keep growing, smiling and being you darling.
Loads of love